I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
