I must be too annoying 4 u.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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