Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
