Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
