his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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