Pregnant stripper...not hot.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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