Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
