Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
He has the fingertips of a God
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