Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
