OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
