I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
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I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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