She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize