this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
