There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
