Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
