Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
