Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
