Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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