hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
there is glitter all over my balls
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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