I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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