two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
