I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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