Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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