I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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