Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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