sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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