If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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