You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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