i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
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