I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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