bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
