We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
