Pappa wants mamma naked
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
