Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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