Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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