I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
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