Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
