my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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