dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
