i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
