That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
