I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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