she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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