You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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