i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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