My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
