i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
