The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
