I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize