So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
