your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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