Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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