Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
