all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
it glows. i had to have it.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
It's official drugs can't kill me
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
