Banned from zoo.
Again?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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