You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
