I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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