I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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