margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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