Non-Jews are for practice
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
