Nicole vs. Life
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize