I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
