Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
