hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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