chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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