You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
