after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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