she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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