hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
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He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
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YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
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