it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
